Hey Guys,
This blog is written in two parts:
Rejection from a job
Rejection from a friend.
I hope this helps anyone facing those things, and even rejection from some other source like University.
It all will be ok in the end
I'm writing this holding back the tears, after failing the one thing i cannot have control over. Rejection. I have yet again been rejected for Waterstones, a job and company i desperately want to work for. I feel like their ethos and my passion for books go hand in hand. However, for the second year in a row, they rejected me. This time i did get further than the email state, so i suppose that is progress.
I hate being rejected as any sane person does. It affects me so deeply, i feel it first in my gut, that overwhelming sense of failure, and stupidity and just loathing for myself, because i did not succeed, i did not successfully achieve my aims and my expectations.
It's the feeling of letting myself down.
Then comes the crashing down of plans. Trips, experiences, memories i had yet to discover but was going to due to this thin, this want, this job, result, aim i had gone for. but yet i failed. i failed completely and utterly
What else could I have done, what could I have changed?
Not only do you face rejection in jobs and work life. but also in friendships. Out of no-where BAM. you get that text or call which just crashes the friendship you created down. The tether you had with that person is cut and you feel lost, abandoned and scared. This for me has happened but for this it is normally not you. It is normally some thing to do with them. They might have been feeling off that morning or something could have gone wrong in their own life. It might have not been anything to do with you. But that does not mean the pain or stab of rejection you feel is any less. In fact believe it is more, because its from someone you really care about, someone you have put time, money, effort and care into. You get rejected from someone you never wanted to be rejected from. The best way i can describe it is like when otters hold hands when they sleep to prevent them floating away, rejection from your best friend, feels like the otter or hand you put all your trust in purposely let go.
Right now i feel like part of really cheesy romantic comedy movie, this rejection part is normally happens at the main characters lowest moments, it takes them awhile but eventually after their rock bottom they become a better version of themselves.
I live in hope that this is what is happening to my friends and I, we are simply trying to live out the scene until one of us, maybe me or maybe them, learns their lessons and we can finally go back to being friends. Those, cheese-ly are always my favourite parts of movies, the section where everything works out... the epilogue.
But until then there's only one thing you can do. You can only be yourself, be the absolute best version of yourself. Then if friends, jobs or universities eject you.Their loss, because you've got to surround yourself with people who accept you as you truly are, unless that thing is harmful and breaks laws.. then probably don't do it...
Rejection is hard as it leads to loss, loss of something you really wanted. The trick is, to now aim higher.
Love,
LadyoftheRivers x
Thursday 18 August 2016
Thursday 11 August 2016
The Tale of a Very Particular City
Hey Guys,
This post goes hand in hand with my latest video on my channel ( Channel linked here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbYZcLGV0CYSyF_NRH3bKwQ )
They both re-tell my recent excursion into London to go and see Jack and Dean Live.
My Video tells you the 3 less than
ideal situations that occurred because of this trip... So if you want to watch me cringing while i tell you... I hope you enjoy.
However, this blogpost is a lot more positive. I want to talk about the London trip not as a series of awkward events but as a triumph, a personal victory over that stupid enemy anxiety.
I'm sure man of you face anxiety or at least get anxious on a day to day basis, which is what happens to me.
I get way inside my head and think that anything not happening inside my house is scary. This becomes problematic when it holds me back from doing something i really want to do, like going and seeing Jack and Dean Live. So I took a spontaneous adventure. I booked it. I did it. And here i want to break it down and tell you how and why i managed to do it for any one else who might be struggling.
1. Travel Anxiety.
This is the main one for me, as someone who is only calm when they can control things, putting my trust in trains and not being completely sure what platform they get off, is a massive thing for me. However, the train gods have looked down on us poor anxious mortals and bestowed 'The National Rail App'. It is amazing, as because i live in the middle of nowhere with the only station a good 4 mile walk away with 2 small platforms i knew, at some point, i was going to have to make a change of train. Funnily enough this was the thing i was most anxious about... Changing trains. But the national rail app helps that, it tells you what platforms the train stops at and what time it will reach each platform. It also tells you what platform it will arrive at and show you which platform your next train will leave from. I used it for my train changes at it was amazing it made the whole thing so much simpler and took a lot of the stress out.
Therefore if your main concern in train travel is changing trains or to do with trains download the National Rail App as i will definitely help out sorting through trains.
2. Tube Anxiety.
This is something you can't really combat if your anxiety can be triggered in the crowds in the tube. I would say if you really can't stand crowds, don't travel at peak hours, pick quieter tubes such as Bakerloo Line and stay off Circle and District as they are always busy and always delayed. But defiantly plan your journeys and make yourself aware of a tube map so you roughly know where you're going as this will make your journey a lot smoother.
3. Getting Lost Anxiety.
Again, this is something a glorious app can help with...'Google Maps' not Apple Maps but the trusted Google Maps, this enables you to get directions, it will show you where you need to walk...It's basically a SatNav for walking. I used this to get to the Banqueting House ( which was amazing) and the Soho Theatre to see Jack and Dean (equally as amazing). Google Maps is a London must as instead of guessing if you are walking in the right direction, it actually shows you. If you are still anxious before the journey i found out exactly where i had to go, i planned every journey, knew the length and which streets to go down as a back up as i seriously did not want to get lost.
4. Lastly... People Anxiety.
Again this is something you cannot control, you have to ride the wave. The potential problems that arise for humans can be overwhelming, especially for me. But for this, you have to make the effort. Think about what you are doing and where you are going and how exciting that it going to be. I'm again that feeling of achievement and pride in what you have done. Honestly that feeling of meeting Jack, Dean, Hazel, Dodie and Dan was so amazing, i wouldn't have swapped it for the world. Therefore what ever you're doing will create that sense of pride within you as well. So take the plunge and go for it.
I hope this helps any of you about to take a ride either into the Big Smoke or any other scary city. Beleive me, once you have done it... It is not scary at all.
Love,
LadyoftheRivers x
This post goes hand in hand with my latest video on my channel ( Channel linked here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbYZcLGV0CYSyF_NRH3bKwQ )
They both re-tell my recent excursion into London to go and see Jack and Dean Live.
My Video tells you the 3 less than
ideal situations that occurred because of this trip... So if you want to watch me cringing while i tell you... I hope you enjoy.
However, this blogpost is a lot more positive. I want to talk about the London trip not as a series of awkward events but as a triumph, a personal victory over that stupid enemy anxiety.
I'm sure man of you face anxiety or at least get anxious on a day to day basis, which is what happens to me.
I get way inside my head and think that anything not happening inside my house is scary. This becomes problematic when it holds me back from doing something i really want to do, like going and seeing Jack and Dean Live. So I took a spontaneous adventure. I booked it. I did it. And here i want to break it down and tell you how and why i managed to do it for any one else who might be struggling.
1. Travel Anxiety.
This is the main one for me, as someone who is only calm when they can control things, putting my trust in trains and not being completely sure what platform they get off, is a massive thing for me. However, the train gods have looked down on us poor anxious mortals and bestowed 'The National Rail App'. It is amazing, as because i live in the middle of nowhere with the only station a good 4 mile walk away with 2 small platforms i knew, at some point, i was going to have to make a change of train. Funnily enough this was the thing i was most anxious about... Changing trains. But the national rail app helps that, it tells you what platforms the train stops at and what time it will reach each platform. It also tells you what platform it will arrive at and show you which platform your next train will leave from. I used it for my train changes at it was amazing it made the whole thing so much simpler and took a lot of the stress out.
Therefore if your main concern in train travel is changing trains or to do with trains download the National Rail App as i will definitely help out sorting through trains.
2. Tube Anxiety.
This is something you can't really combat if your anxiety can be triggered in the crowds in the tube. I would say if you really can't stand crowds, don't travel at peak hours, pick quieter tubes such as Bakerloo Line and stay off Circle and District as they are always busy and always delayed. But defiantly plan your journeys and make yourself aware of a tube map so you roughly know where you're going as this will make your journey a lot smoother.
3. Getting Lost Anxiety.
Again, this is something a glorious app can help with...'Google Maps' not Apple Maps but the trusted Google Maps, this enables you to get directions, it will show you where you need to walk...It's basically a SatNav for walking. I used this to get to the Banqueting House ( which was amazing) and the Soho Theatre to see Jack and Dean (equally as amazing). Google Maps is a London must as instead of guessing if you are walking in the right direction, it actually shows you. If you are still anxious before the journey i found out exactly where i had to go, i planned every journey, knew the length and which streets to go down as a back up as i seriously did not want to get lost.
4. Lastly... People Anxiety.
Again this is something you cannot control, you have to ride the wave. The potential problems that arise for humans can be overwhelming, especially for me. But for this, you have to make the effort. Think about what you are doing and where you are going and how exciting that it going to be. I'm again that feeling of achievement and pride in what you have done. Honestly that feeling of meeting Jack, Dean, Hazel, Dodie and Dan was so amazing, i wouldn't have swapped it for the world. Therefore what ever you're doing will create that sense of pride within you as well. So take the plunge and go for it.
I hope this helps any of you about to take a ride either into the Big Smoke or any other scary city. Beleive me, once you have done it... It is not scary at all.
Love,
LadyoftheRivers x
Monday 1 August 2016
What I Read¦ On Holiday
Hey Guys,
As you probably saw my posts and videos have been few and far between recently. This is due to the fact that i was on holiday the past 2 weeks, and although Cornwall has the best beaches, ice cream and pastys... it has THE worst WiFi.
But due to the undeniable slowness and disappearing of any chance of Internet it meant i had a hell of a long time to read!
I love reading, its something you can do anywhere and anytime, which transports you to any world imaginable.
On my you tube channel i talked about physical books i read, here i want to talk about books i read on y Kindle.
The Fallen Star Series by Jessica Sorensen
This series of books i downloaded on a whim as the first was free. They're not the best written as the can jump around a little and in some areas it doesn't read as well as other books. However, they are a lovely little fantasy fix. Imagine Twilight meets Mortal Instruments combined with every young adult series ever. It has the stock vampire, moody male love interest, slightly significant female character who has great skills and of course the close off, introverted, innocent main female character. Although these books are predicable and wouldn't be my first fantasy adventure they are a good book to enter a new world and the author does have a few cool ideas. This is because the main character Gemma has never felt emotion for 18 years and slowly begins to which reveals 'a magical power' she has, then she gets caught up in a war against the evil guys ( NO spoilers) and creatures called the 'Death Walkers'. As she id trying to save the world she falls for a guy called Alex....
There are 4 books in the series and if you want a little story, that's easy to read then i would recommend these.
Amy Green by Sarah Webb
Throwing it back now, these books were all i read for a bout 1 year when i was 12. I found them on my kindle and thought i might as well relive them. Yes, they are still as cheesy, predictable as i remember, although now with a hint of hilarity that i was so attached to these books. I already added a few years to the main character Amy as she is doing and achieving things no 13 year old did ( at least i didn't). Therefore i see her more as 17, that way the books were more bearable for me. If your not-so-little-one wants a really easy read, browse through this series. But it was a cute trip down memory lane.
Insurgent by Veronica Roth
The divergent series is a series i constantly dip in and out off, I loved and still love the first book, but the second and especially the third i'm not a massive fan off. I think the first one is so clearly written and the last two are more of a jumble and not as well written. Therefore once i have read and loved the first one i often slow down read the next two books. Insurgent is alright but i do get a little bit bored so i have not finished yet. Although i have read the whole series many a time, I used Insurgent as a bit of a filler in Cornwall rather than a main books. This series is alright if you need a books that's quite easy to read and quick that gives you a different world to escape too.
As you can see there is a theme to these books. They are easy to read, fantasy books. This is because on holiday i like to read books i don't have to think about. I'm on Holiday to relax and i hate trying to force my way and think around complicated ideas, instead i read a lot of books that although have good stories are not the most intellectual. Even so, there good books to switch off which is what holidays are all about.
As you probably saw my posts and videos have been few and far between recently. This is due to the fact that i was on holiday the past 2 weeks, and although Cornwall has the best beaches, ice cream and pastys... it has THE worst WiFi.
But due to the undeniable slowness and disappearing of any chance of Internet it meant i had a hell of a long time to read!
I love reading, its something you can do anywhere and anytime, which transports you to any world imaginable.
On my you tube channel i talked about physical books i read, here i want to talk about books i read on y Kindle.
The Fallen Star Series by Jessica Sorensen
This series of books i downloaded on a whim as the first was free. They're not the best written as the can jump around a little and in some areas it doesn't read as well as other books. However, they are a lovely little fantasy fix. Imagine Twilight meets Mortal Instruments combined with every young adult series ever. It has the stock vampire, moody male love interest, slightly significant female character who has great skills and of course the close off, introverted, innocent main female character. Although these books are predicable and wouldn't be my first fantasy adventure they are a good book to enter a new world and the author does have a few cool ideas. This is because the main character Gemma has never felt emotion for 18 years and slowly begins to which reveals 'a magical power' she has, then she gets caught up in a war against the evil guys ( NO spoilers) and creatures called the 'Death Walkers'. As she id trying to save the world she falls for a guy called Alex....
There are 4 books in the series and if you want a little story, that's easy to read then i would recommend these.
Amy Green by Sarah Webb
Throwing it back now, these books were all i read for a bout 1 year when i was 12. I found them on my kindle and thought i might as well relive them. Yes, they are still as cheesy, predictable as i remember, although now with a hint of hilarity that i was so attached to these books. I already added a few years to the main character Amy as she is doing and achieving things no 13 year old did ( at least i didn't). Therefore i see her more as 17, that way the books were more bearable for me. If your not-so-little-one wants a really easy read, browse through this series. But it was a cute trip down memory lane.
Insurgent by Veronica Roth
The divergent series is a series i constantly dip in and out off, I loved and still love the first book, but the second and especially the third i'm not a massive fan off. I think the first one is so clearly written and the last two are more of a jumble and not as well written. Therefore once i have read and loved the first one i often slow down read the next two books. Insurgent is alright but i do get a little bit bored so i have not finished yet. Although i have read the whole series many a time, I used Insurgent as a bit of a filler in Cornwall rather than a main books. This series is alright if you need a books that's quite easy to read and quick that gives you a different world to escape too.
As you can see there is a theme to these books. They are easy to read, fantasy books. This is because on holiday i like to read books i don't have to think about. I'm on Holiday to relax and i hate trying to force my way and think around complicated ideas, instead i read a lot of books that although have good stories are not the most intellectual. Even so, there good books to switch off which is what holidays are all about.
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