Hey Guys,
I have Once Upon a Time playing in the background, a beverage in hand ( aka Water because it is wayyy to hot for hot chocolate) and my hair is tied back.
It must be time for another Thoughts on a Thursday.
As I have become older, I am convinced that life is a series of balances.
In order to be successful, happy and content you need to make sure each part of your life is balanced.
Exercise vs Relaxing
Learning vs Rest
Work vs Fun
Socialising vs Recharging... This is the one i am at the moment struggling with. Due to my introvert nature and my work ethic i will just work and work and work. In my mind hard work will eventually pay off, and if it hasn't then I've got to work harder. This way of living however is not healthy, it means i miss out on activities and memories with my friends. It means i become known as the 'One who works hard' or 'The Introvert'. Sometimes, for me that can be a compliment, I love and get a massive kick out of people complimenting my work ethic ( as I'm sure many of you do). But I have never been able to get that balance right.
It reminds me of physics lessons where we had to try and find the centre of gravity, in each one depending of the weights the centre was different, for me that was easy to figure out, i did the formula and boom, I knew where best to balance it.
In life though, I fail at bit more. This year i tried a bit more to be social,and in some cases it worked. But now. Its all gone belly up. I feel my friends slipping away from me, I literally haven't seen them in a month.... They are all having adventures and annoying life and i'm not there. i'm not with them.
Fear of Missing out or FOMO is something everyone struggles with. Even the most introverted of introverts have this feeling. But its not FOMO its Loneliness. People try so hard to avoid loneliness they give i different names to trick themselves into believing that's not what they're feeling. Like Voldemort and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Loneliness is something difficult to deal with, but there is a difference to being LONELY and being ALONE. You can choose.
If you are feeling in dire need of friendship , try and organise something. Just keeping hinting or setting dates or suggesting parties and get togethers. Make dates you know you will be able to meet them easily so it can be a stress free event for everyone.
If you chose to be on your own, make the most of it, stick on a movie, belt out cheesy songs ( complete with embarrassing dance moves), eat your absolutely favourite food.... When I'm alone the whole house stinks of garlic because I can finally eat it without people complaining.
And Lastly, if your friends aren't making time for you, maybe get some other ones. Go outside, meet people hunting for Pokemon, If you're over aged go to a bar and talk at a music night or quiz night.
If your are feeling lonely DO NOT over think it. Don't read 'They Hate me' whenever your friends comment on a Facebook picture without you, or make plans, or go somewhere without you. They don't hate you, but if it is a worry talk to them about it communicate more, friendships are so much better when everyone is one the same page.
Hope this helps,
Love your fellow confused introvert,
LadyoftheRivers x
( Sorry if this was to self-focused...Still trying to find the balance with these!)
Thursday 28 July 2016
Thoughts on a Thursday¦ Fear Of Missing Out
Hey Guys,
I have Once Upon a Time playing in the background, a beverage in hand ( aka Water because it is wayyy to hot for hot chocolate) and my hair is tied back.
It must be time for another Thoughts on a Thursday.
As I have become older, I am convinced that life is a series of balances.
In order to be successful, happy and content you need to make sure each part of your life is balanced.
Exercise vs Relaxing
Learning vs Rest
Work vs Fun
Socialising vs Recharging... This is the one i am at the moment struggling with. Due to my introvert nature and my work ethic i will just work and work and work. In my mind hard work will eventually pay off, and if it hasn't then I've got to work harder. This way of living however is not healthy, it means i miss out on activities and memories with my friends. It means i become known as the 'One who works hard' or 'The Introvert'. Sometimes, for me that can be a compliment, I love and get a massive kick out of people complimenting my work ethic ( as I'm sure many of you do). But I have never been able to get that balance right.
It reminds me of physics lessons where we had to try and find the centre of gravity, in each one depending of the weights the centre was different, for me that was easy to figure out, i did the formula and boom, I knew where best to balance it.
In life though, I fail at bit more. This year i tried a bit more to be social,and in some cases it worked. But now. Its all gone belly up. I feel my friends slipping away from me, I literally haven't seen them in a month.... They are all having adventures and annoying life and i'm not there. i'm not with them.
Fear of Missing out or FOMO is something everyone struggles with. Even the most introverted of introverts have this feeling. But its not FOMO its Loneliness. People try so hard to avoid loneliness they give i different names to trick themselves into believing that's not what they're feeling. Like Voldemort and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Loneliness is something difficult to deal with, but there is a difference to being LONELY and being ALONE. You can choose.
If you are feeling in dire need of friendship , try and organise something. Just keeping hinting or setting dates or suggesting parties and get togethers. Make dates you know you will be able to meet them easily so it can be a stress free event for everyone.
If you chose to be on your own, make the most of it, stick on a movie, belt out cheesy songs ( complete with embarrassing dance moves), eat your absolutely favourite food.... When I'm alone the whole house stinks of garlic because I can finally eat it without people complaining.
And Lastly, if your friends aren't making time for you, maybe get some other ones. Go outside, meet people hunting for Pokemon, If you're over aged go to a bar and talk at a music night or quiz night.
If your are feeling lonely DO NOT over think it. Don't read 'They Hate me' whenever your friends comment on a Facebook picture without you, or make plans, or go somewhere without you. They don't hate you, but if it is a worry talk to them about it communicate more, friendships are so much better when everyone is one the same page.
Hope this helps,
Love your fellow confused introvert,
LadyoftheRivers x
( Sorry if this was to self-focused...Still trying to find the balance with these!)
I have Once Upon a Time playing in the background, a beverage in hand ( aka Water because it is wayyy to hot for hot chocolate) and my hair is tied back.
It must be time for another Thoughts on a Thursday.
As I have become older, I am convinced that life is a series of balances.
In order to be successful, happy and content you need to make sure each part of your life is balanced.
Exercise vs Relaxing
Learning vs Rest
Work vs Fun
Socialising vs Recharging... This is the one i am at the moment struggling with. Due to my introvert nature and my work ethic i will just work and work and work. In my mind hard work will eventually pay off, and if it hasn't then I've got to work harder. This way of living however is not healthy, it means i miss out on activities and memories with my friends. It means i become known as the 'One who works hard' or 'The Introvert'. Sometimes, for me that can be a compliment, I love and get a massive kick out of people complimenting my work ethic ( as I'm sure many of you do). But I have never been able to get that balance right.
It reminds me of physics lessons where we had to try and find the centre of gravity, in each one depending of the weights the centre was different, for me that was easy to figure out, i did the formula and boom, I knew where best to balance it.
In life though, I fail at bit more. This year i tried a bit more to be social,and in some cases it worked. But now. Its all gone belly up. I feel my friends slipping away from me, I literally haven't seen them in a month.... They are all having adventures and annoying life and i'm not there. i'm not with them.
Fear of Missing out or FOMO is something everyone struggles with. Even the most introverted of introverts have this feeling. But its not FOMO its Loneliness. People try so hard to avoid loneliness they give i different names to trick themselves into believing that's not what they're feeling. Like Voldemort and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Loneliness is something difficult to deal with, but there is a difference to being LONELY and being ALONE. You can choose.
If you are feeling in dire need of friendship , try and organise something. Just keeping hinting or setting dates or suggesting parties and get togethers. Make dates you know you will be able to meet them easily so it can be a stress free event for everyone.
If you chose to be on your own, make the most of it, stick on a movie, belt out cheesy songs ( complete with embarrassing dance moves), eat your absolutely favourite food.... When I'm alone the whole house stinks of garlic because I can finally eat it without people complaining.
And Lastly, if your friends aren't making time for you, maybe get some other ones. Go outside, meet people hunting for Pokemon, If you're over aged go to a bar and talk at a music night or quiz night.
If your are feeling lonely DO NOT over think it. Don't read 'They Hate me' whenever your friends comment on a Facebook picture without you, or make plans, or go somewhere without you. They don't hate you, but if it is a worry talk to them about it communicate more, friendships are so much better when everyone is one the same page.
Hope this helps,
Love your fellow confused introvert,
LadyoftheRivers x
( Sorry if this was to self-focused...Still trying to find the balance with these!)
Thursday 7 July 2016
Thoughts on a Thursday¦ Holding on and Letting go
Hey Guys,
I have found the rubbish side of summer. My friends are leaving. Although this is normally a regular occurrence friends jutting off everywhere to go and enjoy exotic holidays round the world, now we have left school, some are leaving forever.
And I will miss them.
I will miss the small, seemingly mundane conversations we'd have bleary eyed in the mornings, the random inside jokes that were created and forgotten almost instantly and just the feeling of having them around.
Although I know i will stay in touch with many, it won't be the same.
As someone who prides themselves at being up for change in the face of those adverse to it, i retned like often i'm ok etting go of friends. I then ineveitably loose touch, forget about them as i get caught up in the next project... Each time i vow that i wouldn't lose touch with this one, or that one. And one by one i do. I'm also really bad a texting back.
Letting go is always something people struggle with. There seems only to be 2 extremes. Not letting go enough or letting go too much. Both of these are me, I both let people go way to easily especially if they've done something to hurt me but then, i don't let go enough to let that person actually evolve.
And that is what i have to do now. I have to release this tight grip i have and let them go, let them actually start to evolve and transform into the people i know they can become.
I have a quote on my wall by C.S. Lewis, not just because he's an amazing writer but because the quote sums up the importance of 'letting go'
I have found the rubbish side of summer. My friends are leaving. Although this is normally a regular occurrence friends jutting off everywhere to go and enjoy exotic holidays round the world, now we have left school, some are leaving forever.
And I will miss them.
I will miss the small, seemingly mundane conversations we'd have bleary eyed in the mornings, the random inside jokes that were created and forgotten almost instantly and just the feeling of having them around.
Although I know i will stay in touch with many, it won't be the same.
As someone who prides themselves at being up for change in the face of those adverse to it, i retned like often i'm ok etting go of friends. I then ineveitably loose touch, forget about them as i get caught up in the next project... Each time i vow that i wouldn't lose touch with this one, or that one. And one by one i do. I'm also really bad a texting back.
Letting go is always something people struggle with. There seems only to be 2 extremes. Not letting go enough or letting go too much. Both of these are me, I both let people go way to easily especially if they've done something to hurt me but then, i don't let go enough to let that person actually evolve.
And that is what i have to do now. I have to release this tight grip i have and let them go, let them actually start to evolve and transform into the people i know they can become.
I have a quote on my wall by C.S. Lewis, not just because he's an amazing writer but because the quote sums up the importance of 'letting go'
"There are far, far, better things ahead, than any we leave behind"
However, you will notice that this blogpost is not simply entitled 'letting go' but also focuses on 'holding on' ( Something Elsa from Frozen did not do as she 'Let it Go'
Holding on for me is potent. I hold onto the wrong things, regret, guilt and all that marlakery. instead of going out with my friends and wnjoying myself, i hold on to the feeling of apphrension and fear i have.
By holding on to these negative feelings it means i miss out. I miss out on being that 'fun freind' instead i become a burden.
i'm unable to let anything go because i', holding on so tightly to my feelings of what others think of me.
SO that's what i want to encourage you the reader to do. Let go, let go of holding on. let go to the standards society is trying to hold you up against. Because then, maybe just maybe we can finally let our hair down a bit and enjoy our selves.
Life's short. Let's let it go.
Love,
LadyoftheRivers
Monday 4 July 2016
Feminism Diary 2016
Hey Guys,
This post goes hand in hand with my video this week linked here:( https://youtu.be/nmZ2AKMONFc)
I wanted to make a video and post about my 'feminism diary' because i wanted to document my thoughts, feelings and ideas around feminism at this time in my life. Through looking back through old blogposts i have seen how much my knowledge and opinions have expanded and changed about many subjects not only feminism but also history, politics and general life-ness. This has led me wanting to pinpoint where i am now and where I want to head towards in the future.
In my video i focused more on where I wanted expand and improve my feminism but on my blog I want to focus on where and how I decided to become and label myself as a feminist.
Like many of you, at a young age i didn't know the word feminism let alone what it meant. But unlike many i fortunately had a very supportive, open minded and progressive family. My mum when i was small used to change pronouns when she read to me. This is because she believed ungendered objects such as toys and cars should not automatically be labelled as 'he'. This gives the impression of the open-minded attitude i had surrounding me, which unfortunately many do not have the luxury and privilege of having. My family bubble of thinking everyone was treated equally continued I hardly faced any outright sexism in primary school, that i can remember, and my life goal at this time to be a builder was surprisingly supported and celebrated. However, this happy little bubble was soon popped when i started to move out of my sleepy little village and into a bigger,scarier school. The first discrimination i faced was not due to my gender but my class. i was suddenly attending a school where people had money. Not normal amounts like my family did but serious money. My rough around the edges accent and blindness to the upper class way of doing things left those around me with lots of material to pick up on and to highlight the differences between us. Although this was never serious it did start me questioning my optimistic and happy ideal of the world.
Things started to really turn when i got into to politics and history. As weird as it sounds as i was reading and learning more about the Tudors I started to draw similarities between their society and ours. I started to notice how women were treated as lesser citizens, I read horrifying stories online about women being treated appallingly. My bubble was well and truly burst. Instead of doing what others around me did when their bubble burst of trying to make or fit into a new one, I examined and read further about these inequalities i was too face. I discovered the wage gap, everyday sexism, discrimination. I learnt about inequalities i would never face FGM, child marriage. These lead me to think, why is no fighting back? why are people letting this happen?
That's when i discovered feminism. I discovered this army of people valiantly trying to make this world more equal.
Unfortunately at this time my feminism lacked intersectionality despite doing presentations and writing essays about it in school, my feminism still was very foucsed on me. What challenges am I going to face, what can I do to make MY life better.
Recently there is where I have tried to shift my feminism too, moving it away from me and on to those who across the world only dream of the life i lead. I want to use my voice and my privilege to improve their lives and their position.
I hope we can succeed in that.
Love,
LadyodtheRivers
This post goes hand in hand with my video this week linked here:( https://youtu.be/nmZ2AKMONFc)
I wanted to make a video and post about my 'feminism diary' because i wanted to document my thoughts, feelings and ideas around feminism at this time in my life. Through looking back through old blogposts i have seen how much my knowledge and opinions have expanded and changed about many subjects not only feminism but also history, politics and general life-ness. This has led me wanting to pinpoint where i am now and where I want to head towards in the future.
In my video i focused more on where I wanted expand and improve my feminism but on my blog I want to focus on where and how I decided to become and label myself as a feminist.
Like many of you, at a young age i didn't know the word feminism let alone what it meant. But unlike many i fortunately had a very supportive, open minded and progressive family. My mum when i was small used to change pronouns when she read to me. This is because she believed ungendered objects such as toys and cars should not automatically be labelled as 'he'. This gives the impression of the open-minded attitude i had surrounding me, which unfortunately many do not have the luxury and privilege of having. My family bubble of thinking everyone was treated equally continued I hardly faced any outright sexism in primary school, that i can remember, and my life goal at this time to be a builder was surprisingly supported and celebrated. However, this happy little bubble was soon popped when i started to move out of my sleepy little village and into a bigger,scarier school. The first discrimination i faced was not due to my gender but my class. i was suddenly attending a school where people had money. Not normal amounts like my family did but serious money. My rough around the edges accent and blindness to the upper class way of doing things left those around me with lots of material to pick up on and to highlight the differences between us. Although this was never serious it did start me questioning my optimistic and happy ideal of the world.
Things started to really turn when i got into to politics and history. As weird as it sounds as i was reading and learning more about the Tudors I started to draw similarities between their society and ours. I started to notice how women were treated as lesser citizens, I read horrifying stories online about women being treated appallingly. My bubble was well and truly burst. Instead of doing what others around me did when their bubble burst of trying to make or fit into a new one, I examined and read further about these inequalities i was too face. I discovered the wage gap, everyday sexism, discrimination. I learnt about inequalities i would never face FGM, child marriage. These lead me to think, why is no fighting back? why are people letting this happen?
That's when i discovered feminism. I discovered this army of people valiantly trying to make this world more equal.
Unfortunately at this time my feminism lacked intersectionality despite doing presentations and writing essays about it in school, my feminism still was very foucsed on me. What challenges am I going to face, what can I do to make MY life better.
Recently there is where I have tried to shift my feminism too, moving it away from me and on to those who across the world only dream of the life i lead. I want to use my voice and my privilege to improve their lives and their position.
I hope we can succeed in that.
Love,
LadyodtheRivers
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