I have found the rubbish side of summer. My friends are leaving. Although this is normally a regular occurrence friends jutting off everywhere to go and enjoy exotic holidays round the world, now we have left school, some are leaving forever.
And I will miss them.
I will miss the small, seemingly mundane conversations we'd have bleary eyed in the mornings, the random inside jokes that were created and forgotten almost instantly and just the feeling of having them around.
Although I know i will stay in touch with many, it won't be the same.
As someone who prides themselves at being up for change in the face of those adverse to it, i retned like often i'm ok etting go of friends. I then ineveitably loose touch, forget about them as i get caught up in the next project... Each time i vow that i wouldn't lose touch with this one, or that one. And one by one i do. I'm also really bad a texting back.
Letting go is always something people struggle with. There seems only to be 2 extremes. Not letting go enough or letting go too much. Both of these are me, I both let people go way to easily especially if they've done something to hurt me but then, i don't let go enough to let that person actually evolve.
And that is what i have to do now. I have to release this tight grip i have and let them go, let them actually start to evolve and transform into the people i know they can become.
I have a quote on my wall by C.S. Lewis, not just because he's an amazing writer but because the quote sums up the importance of 'letting go'
"There are far, far, better things ahead, than any we leave behind"
However, you will notice that this blogpost is not simply entitled 'letting go' but also focuses on 'holding on' ( Something Elsa from Frozen did not do as she 'Let it Go'
Holding on for me is potent. I hold onto the wrong things, regret, guilt and all that marlakery. instead of going out with my friends and wnjoying myself, i hold on to the feeling of apphrension and fear i have.
By holding on to these negative feelings it means i miss out. I miss out on being that 'fun freind' instead i become a burden.
i'm unable to let anything go because i', holding on so tightly to my feelings of what others think of me.
SO that's what i want to encourage you the reader to do. Let go, let go of holding on. let go to the standards society is trying to hold you up against. Because then, maybe just maybe we can finally let our hair down a bit and enjoy our selves.
Life's short. Let's let it go.
Love,
LadyoftheRivers
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